Sexual Spring: Awakening & Curiosity
The Spring Season of Sexuality: Awakening & Curiosity
Spring is the season of emergence—of light returning, buds unfurling, and a quiet stirring beneath the soil becoming something bold and alive. In the phase of sexuality, spring is the hint of curiosity, warming up, and transitioning from rest or stillness into a state of potential. This is where foreplay lives.
tldr;
- Principles of yin yang permeate your receptivity to pleasure
- Foreplay isn't what we conventionally think it is, it's about awakening your body
- There are multiple ways you can shift your body and mind to being receptive to pleasure
Desire doesn’t switch on like a light—it unfurls like blossoms in spring.
Note this is best read after the full context from Sexual Seasons →
✦ Yin Yang in Sexual Spring
In Traditional Chinese Medicine, spring is associated with the Wood element—growth, vision, expansion, and flexibility. It is a yang-rising season, but still tempered by yin moisture and inward reflection. In essence, you'll notice your senses are activating and dynamic.
Sexually, this mirrors:
- Desire beginning to rise, but needing direction.
- Emotional flexibility, like moving from stress into curiosity.
- Imagination waking up, fueled by lightness, play, and possibility.
- Physical and energetic movement, where blood and qi begin to flow again.
This phase requires gentle nurturing—not pressure. Like seedlings, your arousal needs warmth, safety, and room to grow without being forced. Notice your bodies transition.
Figure 1: Vernal Equinox—the decision to pursue pleasure
During your sexual spring awakening & curiosity, you'll approach a moment similar to a Vernal Equinox. Seasonally, this marks the beginning of spring in the Northern Hemisphere and autumn in the Southern Hemisphere. It occurs when the Earth's equator is aligned with the sun, resulting in nearly equal hours of daylight and darkness. Sexually, this is when you are at a junction—you are your most open and receptive to pleasure. You have a chose to pursue pleasure or transition to another activity or state.
✦ Awakening your senses: what to look for
When you're arousing your sensual self, your body and mind softens. You let the gentle activity of your context seep inside of you and you return to your body. There's a sense of movement, stretch, openness—hold it, stay with it, observe where your body and mind wanders.
Observe your body
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Visual: You become more visually curious—colors look brighter, light feels more dimensional, and you notice visual nuance, like dappled sunlight flooding the floor.
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Auditory: Music feels sinks into your bones, voices more layered; ambient sounds become rich, even intimate: birdsong, distant music, the click of a lighter.
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Tactile: Your skin becomes more sensitive. Goosebumps rise from soft breezes or even the brush of fabric. You might crave light, textures like silk sheets, satin robes, or bare feet on cool floors.
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Palate: Your taste buds heighten. Flavors feel vivid—bursting or melting in your mouth—like citrus, berries, herbs, or honey. You might find yourself savoring food more slowly, with greater presence. Tastes connect to memories and emotions.
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Aroma: Scents become deeply atmospheric—earthy, floral, or citrus scents pull your attention. You can smell the climate—like when it's about to rain or just after. Aromas shift your mind, anchoring you in the present
Figure 2: Desire Observations
Curious to learn another way to think about shifting states? Check out Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. Health Behavior—specifically, the emotional floorplan→.
✦ Practices to Shift Out of Winter
Ideally our context naturally shift us into a state of desire and pleasure without thinking about it. However, sometimes we want it to arrive sooner than it would without effort. Here are a few ways we can influence and encourage desire and pleasure to arrive.
Importantly, desire does not like to be rushed or have expectation. When you're returning to your body, don't plan on this turning into sex. Rather, accumulate pleasure in your body and let yourself wander.
Click to explore hyper-specific practices of play
Low effort—medium impact
Medium effort—high impact
Want to understand why these work? Learn what sexual context actually is.
✦ Common Misinterpretations
It's easy to misinterpret practices and concepts. Just like when your partner is asking for advice—sometimes they genuinely want advice, other times they only want someone to listen. Sexual practices and concepts are the same. There are a million bits of well-intended advice that inadvertently contribute to anxieties. We often try what we think should turn us on… but doesn’t. Here are 3 common misunderstandings:
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Myth: Foreplay begins the hour before your partner is asking for sex.
Fact: Foreplay isn't limited by time—it can last weeks or months.
Desire is the cumulative signals of 'yes' and 'no.' As we accumulate more 'yes' signals, we become more and more receptive to pleasure. A phase full of more 'yes' signals mean we will be receptive frequently. A phase full of more 'no' signals means we have to put in more effort to create and concentrate more 'yes' signals just for an evening of pleasure.
- Myth: If you copy that one night, you'll be able to recreate amazing sex.
Fact: Foreplay is your entire context
You and a partner's action are not the sole contributors. Your ability to shift into a state of pleasure comes from 'yes' signals in your body, through your responsibilities (like kids, careers, and parents), and emotions generally. Even if your actions are the exact same, it will be impossible to lose the pressure of knowing what you want the evening to be. Instead, try to recreate the elements—the luxury of a new restaurant, the risk of sliding your fingers where it's taboo, the permission to play hooky. -
Myth: There is a list of go-to foreplay activities
Fact: Foreplay is whatever you want it to be.
Foreplay does not only include flowers, a romantic kiss, or holding hands. It can be watching your husband coach your kid's team, your partner reaching for the top shelf, or traveling with your friends and leaving your partner at home. Foreplay is anything that can shift you out of a state of winter, helping you return to your body, and shift into a state of receptivity.
Figure 3: Foreplay is ALL context—anything that shifts you into a state of receptivity & curiosity.
Check out more on misinterpretations of foreplay →.
✦ Final Thoughts
Spring is the season of the return to your body, the reawakening.
It doesn’t ask you to be ready; it asks you to be receptive, willing to notice, open to feel—not from where you left off, but from exactly where you are now. When we honor the season we’re in, we let go of pressure and performance. We make space for curiosity. For lightness. For the slow, miraculous unfolding of aliveness.
